Montreal Gazette Feature

Article below taken from the Montreal Gazette.

For Kim Bellas, what started as an effort to support her son has turned into a mission to show people that sober is the new cool.

Each morning, seconds after she opens her eyes, Kim Bellas immediately begins checking her social media accounts and messages to see who among her thousands of followers needs her help the most.

Is it “the sober runner” who has been battling alcoholism for years? Or maybe Kelly from Philadelphia who was in a coma for two weeks last year after an overdose? These days, Nattie from London, who calls her “Kimummy,” has been going through a rough patch and needs a lot of Bellas’s special brand of support, motivation and motherly love.

Whoever it is, and however many there are, Bellas finds time for all of them. In addition to the many inspirational messages and videos she posts on Instagram and Facebook, she also writes countless personal messages and has video calls with people around the world who seek her guidance.

What started as a three-month experiment to help her son deal with epilepsy and the fact he couldn’t drink has become a driving force to help people in their battle with sobriety.

They say a mother’s love knows no bounds, and that is definitely true of Bellas. It applies not just to her son, Matthew Boyd, but to the many followers whose lives she deeply impacts because of her unwavering commitment to staying sober. She has gotten involved in mental health issues, which often go hand-in-hand with addiction, and speaks at events and on podcasts. She is also doing a Christmas campaign with the She Recovers Foundation, which aims to inspire hope, reduce stigma and empower women seeking recovery.

She is a tireless ambassador for sobriety.

Last year, she and Nattie got matching tattoos — an infinity sign with a pink heart for Nattie and a white heart for Bellas — so Nattie would know she was never alone in her struggle.

“Kim is like the mum I never had,” Nattie said in a message. “We’ve built a beautiful connection, and we talk every day. She’s a true diamond and has been a rock to me lately.”

A couple of years after her son received an epilepsy diagnosis, Bellas knew she had to take action. He was struggling with his new reality and the anger and depression that ensued.

Football, which had been his life and possible career path, was no longer allowed and, when he was 15, he started calling to be picked up early from every party because he couldn’t drink like the others and “didn’t fit in.”

Bellas kept telling him he didn’t need alcohol to have fun. Then, one day, she realized she was holding a big glass of wine as she said it.

“It hit me like a truck,” she said in an interview. “I was being a hypocrite, and I had to take action. I knew I loved him more than myself and certainly more than liquor.”

So she told Boyd that she would give up alcohol for three months to support him. She figured it would be short-lived, like a diet or going to the gym.

When she could see it helped him to have the support, she extended it another three months. And then another.

On Jan. 12, it will be nine years since Bellas has had a drink.

“I just wanted him to know he could heal and have a good life without booze,” she said in an interview from her Beaconsfield home. She also realized she was probably drinking a bit too much herself and that she felt better sober.

But Bellas’s story doesn’t end there. Supporting her son, now 24, was helpful, but she wanted to do more. She wanted to make it cool to be sober.

And so she did.

There are many definitions of what’s cool in this world — from leather pants and chunky combat boots to TikTok videos or launching an app — but Bellas has trademarked her definition: “Sober is the New Cool.”

With a tagline like that, it’s no wonder that Bellas’s Instagram account, sober.is.the.new.cool, has racked up thousands of followers around the world.

It still gives Bellas goosebumps when she sees people from all walks of life, including a host of celebrities, posting pictures of themselves in Sober is the New Cool T-shirts and sweatshirts. Often, they will post how many days they have been sober.

“She’s like a pied piper,” said Sarah Ivory, a friend of Bellas and board member of the Douglas Foundation, where Bellas directs some of the proceeds from merchandise she sells. “She has turned this into a worldwide movement, and she’s done a fantastic job of making it normal and cool to be sober.”

On a brisk fall day, Bellas opens the door in a bedazzled Sober is the New Cool T-shirt. With her trademark mane of white hair and matching white lips (after all, white is the colour of angels, a running theme on her social media accounts), not to mention her boundless exuberance, Bellas has a commanding presence that often makes her the focal point of any room. You will notice her.

That’s not a bad thing for someone who has made it her mission to demonstrate that a sober life can be an exhilarating one.

“Sober people are not against anything; we’re just trying to find our slice of heaven,” she said (again referencing the angels). “Never miss another memory; I say it all the time.”

Boyd credits his mom with empowering him in the most meaningful way.

“She showed me I could do it,” he said. “I finally started to realize you don’t have to drink to have fun. Not a lot of people have the willpower to do what she did. It really meant a lot to me.”

It was terrifying to have seizures, starting at the age of 13. They were probably caused by four major concussions and several minor ones he sustained playing football.

He has now been seizure-free for almost four years and is able to drive, which has been liberating. And he is helping his mom with her mission to show people that sober really is the new cool.

“There’s no question she has been my guardian angel,” Boyd said of his mom.

These days, Bellas is a guardian angel to many. Hence her Christmas campaign, featuring her dressed in a regal white robe — and angel wings.

“Be someone’s sober angel,” she says. “Inspire them to have a better life.”